I'm not going to be around for a while.

[lisaaaaaah]

Donny and I broke up.

[Admin]

sorry to hear that you're welcome back whenever you're ready

[lisaaaaaah]

Thanks stevey. Thanks that this is a safe place too. I'm really, really hurting in my feelings. I'll come back if I ever find my funny again.

Have some love, I got nowhere else to give it right now.

Thanks for having me. I hope it doesn't hurt forever but i know it will.

[lisaaaaaah]

This is how it went down......

So as you know because I had been making jokes about it Donny's hand (the one he had the operation on) has swollen up and he had spent 2 nights yelling in pain about it. Thing is after the operation he never finished taking his antibiotics nor did he go to the follow up doctor's appoitment. I had told him so many times that was important but what can you do? I couldn't force him. So anyway his hand is swollen up.... On Thursday his time he had work but he been yelling all night in pain so I told him he really had to make a doctor's appoitment before he went to work. He said he would but he didn't. Anyway work finished and he tells me he has a week off. His hand is still swollen and I tell him he needs to go to the doctor or if he can't get in straight away to go to the hospital, he said he would, but he didn't. He spent the whole of Friday in bed, like sleeping for 20 hours. I had let him sleep but as you can imagine I was pretty worried, he never went to the doctor or hospital.... his hand is still swollen and that was Friday night his time, he said he would stay up until 9am Saturday and then call a doctor or go to the hospital. I thought he really needed to go sooner rather than later as it had now been days but he insistsed that he would at 9am ( which is 1am my time) I can't force him so I suggested though that if he could get some more sleep that he should because if he goes to the hospital he could be there all day, I am really worried by now, like really really worried. So anyway he decided he would get some sleep and I said I could wake him up at 9am, that I would stay up to 1am my time and wake him up so that he would go to the hospital first thing. I let him sleep. Just before 9am his time I call to wake him up and I ask him how he his.... he then says he is tired and is going to back to sleep..... I start telling him that he really needs to get to the hospital or doctor, it has been days now, he says no and that he is going back to sleep.... I ask him how long he needs and he says "hours" (I thought you know he'd say something like 10-20 mins) I ask him if he is kidding me and tell him this is serious and that he can't really just leave this, that it has already been days and his hand is still swelling, he at that point yells "SHUT UP!" Hangs up and goes offline. He does not take my calls. I message him "Best of luck with it all. I'm obviously done after this." And I never hear from him.

So that is how it happened. So I guess I wont be having any Donny babies afterall.

[lisaaaaaah]

I bring you the drama of my life.

Ok.... So I get call from him, he is in hospital on a drip. He is very sorry and doesn't want to break up. I am embarassed because I told everyone we broke up. Not only that but I have spent the past 12 hours really upset and thinking we are done. I'm imagining he decided that I'm a nagging bitch and doesn't love me anymore and that he never wants to speak to me again and probably went and got back on drugs and is rolling around with some junky chick off his face with his hand going to fall off..... none of that actually happened but the way it was left this is what I imagined was now happening.
He gets home later tonight and I guess we'll sort it out. But he can't do that to me, he is on the other side if the world, I can't be there to look after him, all I see is his hand swollen and him yelling in pain all night (and look he's no whimpy sook, if he is yelling in pain it must be VERY painfull) it's all I can do to tell him over and over what he needs to do, I get worried sick, I can't take him to the hospital, I can't be there to see the hand in person for myself, all I can see is a hand that is obviously swelling up and him being in an obvious ammount of a lot of pain. What else could I do but worry sick, stay up all night and just keep telling him that he needs to go to hospital or he might end up loosing his hand. Anyway he is in hospital and the hand is being tended to, he is very sorry and we will sort it out when he gets home. He doesn't really have much of an excuse for yelling at me to shut up and then dropping off the face of the world from me other than he is "very grumpy when [he] wakes up".... I don't know, I mean that was pretty shit but I'm glad I heard from him and that he actually went to hospital and the hand is being taken care of.

Well I hope you enjoyed this installment of "The many dramas in Lisa's life".... Thankyou for being a good and nice friend through it because it really sucked and my whole world fell down around me. It was good to have somewhere where I could get it out.

[lisaaaaaah]

The good thing is is the doctors yelled at him too for being so fucking stupid, they yelled at him and told him off and told him exactly everything I had been telling him while banging my head against a brick wall.

GUYS ARE FUCKING DUMB!

I never asked not to be stupid but I tell you nobody likes it, as soon as people get wind that you are smarter than them they hate it, they are resentfull towards you, like they somehow imagine it's actually great to be smart but it's not, you are a fucking alien because the average IQ is actually more standard deviations below than what a legally retarded person is to someone with an average IQ. I often can simply not believe how dumb what the average intelligence is and it is always a relief when you find someone who is smart, they are far and few between but when you do speak to one it's like "THANK FUCKING GOD! I was starting to think I'm the only one!". And if you ever tell anyone what they need to do do they ever do it? No. They just hate you for telling them what to my mind seems impossible that they couldn't already know.

Eh what do you do? I mean that was shit, he was docuhebag and knows he was but he's still not a bad person and all you have to do is look around and I mean there are a lot more shit people than good people. Sure there are some really good people but most people are shit and dumb. Some people are smart but shit and I just look in envy at the geniuses that actually manage to be happy and who have healthy emotional intelligences... Because yes I have a fucking ridiculous IQ, I'm not a shit oerson but my shortcomming is I have a deveolpmentally stunted and damaged emotional intelligence, my emotional intelligence and capacity is actually at the level teenagers have, now if you are emotionally intelligent or even just at a normal level with that think back to your emotions and how well you dealt with them when you were a teenager.... that is what my feelings are like all the time and it does not help that I have the adult level and very high IQ to go along with that, it's basically just a recipe for driving myself insane, it is always emotionally uncomfortable and no matter how much I can intellectually understand all this I just don't have control over the emotions and how those chemicals are released into brain and how long they persist before being processed or the chemicals reabsorbed... so it's a living nightmare for the most part. On the plus side though there are a lot of things that I just get, in science and concepts, I just get it without much trouble and I can really enjoy that, like spending all night studying really complex things is like crack to me, I just fucking love it, throw an interpersonal relationship at me though and I'm no longer more than a fucking genius, I'm all of a sudden an emotional basket case and actual retard in that department.... in spite of being able to understand that.

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